I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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