I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
