just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
