I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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