On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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