she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
