I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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