i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
