Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize