fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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