Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize