i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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