my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
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I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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