I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
