when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
