Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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