Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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