I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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