i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize