you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
