wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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