Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
