your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
