your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
