May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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