This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
