did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
