The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just puked most of my soul out..
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