The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
