ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
