Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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