she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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