It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
