Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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