I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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