I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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