he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
