I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
