"it" just moved
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
