i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
we're so committed to being not committed
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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