census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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