Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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