I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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