Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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