Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
