I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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