Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
