I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
tell me about the fingering
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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