Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize