apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
