I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize