There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
