And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
