if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
