I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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