you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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