So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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