I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
