Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
