i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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