dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
