Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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