Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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