She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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