When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
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Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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