Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
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